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Mutant, in partnership with Back Lot Music, are proud to present the premiere physical release of Benjamin Wallfisch's incredible score to the 2025 Wolf Man. Leigh Whannell (Invisible Man, Upload) continues exploring the classic Universal monster series, and with Wolf Man hw again teams up with composer Benjamin Wallfisch for the score. Ben's score evokes the lush classic sounds of the original 1940s movie. It's a beautifully light score featuring incredible orchestration, evoking the mystery within the woods. The score is scary and brutal but also delicate and human when necessary. It's evocative and rich and helps add grounding to this very contemporary telling of this tale.

Sababa 5 returns with another essential 45 for Batov Records" Middle Eastern Groove series. This time, they team up with two very different artists on two distinct tracks built from the same hypnotic groove: soulful Turkish alt-pop sensation Canay Dogan and reed flute specialist Itzhak Ventura.

A guitar player, writer, producer, and composer, Stevie Salas has recorded on over 70 different albums with artists as diverse as George Clinton, Justin Timberlake, Buddy Miles, T.I., Mick Jagger, and Rod Stewart. Having sold over two million solo albums around the world, Stevie has been cited as one of the top 50 guitarists of all time. Dreaming of a career in music, Stevie left the small town of Oceanside, California in 1985. Eight months later he was discovered by funk music legend George Clinton as the lead guitarist for Clinton's albums. Stevie received his first major label producer credit with Was (Not Was) when he co-produced the UK hit "Out Come the Freaks" from the album "What up Dog?" Rolling Stone Magazine listed "What up Dog?" as one of the top 100 records of the decade. With an extensive solo career, Stevie has now teamed up with Deko Entertainment to reissue some of these albums starting with the 30th Anniversary of "Back From The Living (Deluxe Edition)"













k MUCH ADO ABOUT BUTTIN' [SUCKERMANGRUBBY MOUTH MIX]





[q] TELL YOUR STORY WALKIN' [MUG MASHER REMIX]
[r] CRACK KILLED APPLE JACK [GRAVY BOOTY REMIX)











[k] MUCH ADO ABOUT BUTTIN' [SUCKERMANGRUBBY MOUTH MIX]





[q] TELL YOUR STORY WALKIN' [MUG MASHER REMIX]
[r] CRACK KILLED APPLE JACK [GRAVY BOOTY REMIX)

Bodhi, the Cardiff-based production team, return to Hotflush Recordings with a follow-up to last year’s standout Laurus Ascending extended play.

Having emerged in 2012 with a slew of breathlessly-received edits and subsequent releases on labels including Future Classic and Rinse, the pair took a 4-year hiatus in 2017, returning with an invigorated sound in 2022. Recent releases on Hotflush and dh2 have brought the duo back to the forefront of the UK’s cutting edge music scene.

‘Corrupta’ is six tracks of bass-inflected, garage-influenced beat science. Opener ‘dwndwn’ sets the stage with a genuine wtf beat-drop moment. That vibe is continued on the shuffling ‘Silian Rail’.

Dancefloor smasher ‘Okinobi’ is a hat-tip to the recent Speed Garage revival, while T.O.P. is a classic slice of 2-step bassline pressure. Bodhi’s techno influences are also present with electro breaks hybrid of ‘Without You’ and the 8am Berghain vibes of ‘Bellcurve’.

This is another long-form statement of intent from some of the most inventive club producers in the game right now.

Support from Jamie xx, Lee Gamble, I.Jordan, dBridge, Machinedrum, DJ Haus +++

"Room for the Moon Live" dokumentiert einen ekstatischen Abend, den die facettenreiche Produzentin und Performerin Kate NV ins Leben gerufen hat. Das Album wurde während einer einmaligen Show aufgenommen, die einige Jahre nach der Veröffentlichung von "Room for the Moon" (2020) stattfand. NV malt innerhalb und außerhalb der expressionistischen Linien ihrer Solo-Persönlichkeit und steht an der Spitze einer eklektischen achtköpfigen Band, die Material aus ihrem skurrilen und endlos faszinierenden zweiten Album aufgreift und weiterentwickelt. Für NV ist "Room for the Moon Live" mehr als nur ein Meilenstein, der die fünf Jahre seit der Veröffentlichung ihres zweiten Albums markiert. Die Aufnahme dokumentiert einen wichtigen und seitdem einmaligen Abend, an dem der Sound und die Seele des Albums und ihrer musikalischen Vertrauten einen Raum der Zuflucht in einer besonders schweren und isolierenden Zeit schufen. ,Das wichtigste Thema des Konzerts war, ein Team zu sein - zusammen", sagt NV. ,Musik zu spielen und zu versuchen, in dunklen Zeiten Freude zu verbreiten. Das war für mich sehr wichtig." Die Band wurde von NV aus einer eng verbundenen Gruppe von Musikerfreunden und häufigen Kollaborateuren zusammengestellt, wobei der Kern aus Mitgliedern von Glintshake besteht, der Post-Punk-Band, die sie 2012 mitbegründet hat. Unter NVs leichtfüßiger Leitung begann das Ensemble, die Richtung der Performance zu skizzieren und sich vorzustellen, wie sie einige der synthlastigeren Stücke von Room mit neuen Ideen und akustischen Texturen neu gestalten könnten, unterstützt durch ihre Offenheit für Improvisation, ,Jam"-Ästhetik und vor allem durch ihren freigeistigen Spaß an der Sache. ,Der Ansatz war in etwa: ,Leute, wir spielen Songs, aber hier können wir richtig wild werden`", erinnert sie sich. ,Ich hatte einige ,Musts`, die wir so originalgetreu wie möglich nachbilden mussten, weil sie für die Songs entscheidend waren, aber es war nie eine Priorität, alle in einen Käfig der Originale zu stecken. Die Tracks haben dadurch nur gewonnen und klingen kraftvoller als die Originalversionen." NV hebt ,Marafon 15" und ,Telefon" als besonders eindrucksvolle Beispiele für die tief groovenden, groovigen Art-Rock-Kräfte hervor, die die Originale auf der Bühne belebten. Aber auch über diese beiden Tracks hinaus sind alle Songs weiter ausgelegt und fließen freier, oft eine Minute oder mehrere Minuten länger als die Originale, da die Band einige der eher poporientierten Arrangements von Room aufbricht. NV verweist auch auf die ausgedehnten Solo-Passagen in ,Ça commence par" und die euphorische Coda von ,Lu Na", die während einer Probe der Band entstanden sind und dann für immer Teil des Songs geblieben sind, als einige der verspieltesten Momente des Albums. Live-Alben folgen, sei es aus Notwendigkeit oder aus Gewohnheit, meist einem altbewährten Muster: Sie dokumentieren eine Reihe von Abenden auf Tournee, an denen Künstler vor einem aufgeschlossenen, aber oft verschwommenen Publikum in fremden Städten spielen, die in einem impressionistischen Nebel aus Orten, Räumen, Bildern und Geschmäckern vorbeiziehen. Die Performance auf "Room for the Moon Live" ist etwas ganz anderes. Es ist Musik, die von Freunden für Freunde gemacht wurde, um zu heilen und zu fühlen, voller Freude und grenzenloser Großzügigkeit. Kate NVs "Room for the Moon Live" erscheint fast genau fünf Jahre nach der Veröffentlichung des Originalalbums, als limitierte Doppel-LP und in unbegrenzter digitaler Auflage.

This EP is dedicated to and inspired by a dearly special friend of this label: Graham Kerr, aka Kerso, our pal. His passions in life were friends, records, clothes and his beloved football team, Motherwell FC. It's the first anniversary of his passing in September 2025 and this is just a wee reminder of his presence, and his dancing, all these years. For Kerso.

Annlaug Borsheim is an established freelance musician and songwriter based in Bergen, Norway. She comes from the folk music world, but operates within a wide range of genres, theatrical expressions, and instruments. She sings in Norwegian, and the music reflects Annlaug's versatile background, from traditional tunes from Hardanger to indie rock. She is joined by a star team from the local music scene in Bergen, led by the album's producer, Pedro Carmona-Alvarez.

Sticking a dirty thumb in the eye of fate, our third collaboration sees this marrow deep family malarky turn official as Pace Yourself teams up with YS’s own imprint ERF REC for a split release. As if our status as minor celebrities and footnotes of the underground could level off no further: the unification no one asked for is here. Sticking it to the man, handing your arse to ya on plate; cauterising infected suburban minds world over.

Burn is the second YS album and written as a direct follow-up album to Brutal Flowers. If their first album was an exercise in the incremental, a construction of poise and patience, Burn, should be taken way the fuck at it’s word: it quite literally finds catharsis in twisted reverse. Birthed out the malignant kick found in deconstruction and chaos. Evil twin, psychotic younger sibling, call it what the hell you like. It might take you a moment to get the lay of the land in this darkly mutated world. Like a bug eye’d native first confronted with a zippo, the hit is radical and instant: a new way for the world to go up in smoke.

Splice the Seattle slacker scene with the spliffhead soundsystem culture of the 90s Bristol trip-hop scene, then cross-breed that with the DIY optimism and glee in creation found in the cut-and-paste worlds of skate, graffiti and hiphop, now run that through the skitzo basement mind of John.T. Gast and you’re close to the kind of scorched earth and spiked suburbia that birthed Burn.

Dunno quite what YS have been ingesting of late but this massively twisted LP touches on a host of gloriously fucked totemic underground sources while not sounding much like any of them. It has the ballsy swagger and hard flipping of the script as Massive Attack’s seminal Blue Lines. Indeed, the eponymous album tracks sound similar - the opener ‘Burn’ is like a hard nosed jammed out redux of ‘Blue Lines’. Getting into a kind of slow-spinning overdubbed maximal euphoria ending with mumbled downer vocals, struggling to conceal their tongues in their cheeks there’s an air of paranoia and proto-conspiracy theory. It’ll leave you scratching your head, feeling like you’ve stepped into a New World Order governed by a cacophony of drop outs, dope fiends and apocalyptic stoners. A cracked out world somewhere between Richard Linklater’s movie Slacker (1990) and Marc Singer’s Dark Days (2001).

The rest of the album parts like a tongue on a wine glass: Smith and Mighty, Bandulu, ambient Luke Slater records, Wah Wah Wino, Nurse with Wound, Land of the Loops, Placid Angels, Adrian Sherwood, Urban Tribe and DJ Shadow can all be heard in momentary splatters - but Burn like other works by YS, is its own ritual beast. ‘Moth’, a track which has been knocking about the underground deejai circuit for many moons, is a real raw chopped and screwed slice of stoner erotica that reeks of obsession and unrequited desire. Elsewhere, on tracks like ‘Switch’, ‘Trying’ and ‘Drift’ the throughline from Brutal Flowers can be heard. Underneath the driving heavy gravity the trademark emotional intimacies of YS linger: eternal recurrence, ghosts of static and shortwave, worn memories of the playful and painful sort. The brief moments where flashes of orchestral ambience get out from underneath the swagger are so pure, personal and unguarded that for a moment they leave you completely lonesome. In the album’s closer ‘End’, you can hear the fleeting promise and DIY possibilities of an analogue world and embers of ash that flutter in its wake: where it seemed, for a brief moment, that collective of DJs, engineers, rappers, graffiti artists and skate crews were emerging from the streets, giving the middle fingers to the system, before just as quickly disappearing back to the doldrums of obscurity. ‘End’ is a bittersweet ode to early soundsystem culture, MCs and pirate radio - an out of step time where for a moment the underdogs and weirdos seemed to be kicking on the door of something bigger.

A veritable teenage doof suite dosed with desire, claustrophobia and deviance. Burn is a good old howl at the moon: lonely, raw, and out for blood; basement style exegesis at its best. A thump to the gut, a stud through your blood. A dubbed-to-death classic straight out of the annals of nowhere. A perfect post card from oblivion. A bleak, bold and personally ferocious vision of tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.

This is everything that record collectors skip dates for. Fuck the scene and keep that shit underground. That’s what it is all about. Know what I mean, if you do? You’re in…

Hilit Kolet and The Illustrious Blacks team up for the ‘Transatlantic Kiki’ EP. Dropping on Rekids late August, the package is remixed by Floorplan.
London-based artist Hilit Kolet returns to Rekids, collaborating with New York’s The Illustrous Blacks, the project formed by Manchildblack and Monstah Black, for the ‘Transatlantic Kiki’ EP, landing 29th August 2025 via Radio Slave’s Rekids. Legendary father-daughter duo Floorplan remix the single, with the release following up Kolet’s 2024 ‘Snap Talk’ EP, which won support from artists like Dam Swindle, Chloé Caillet, Bradley Zero, and more.

With lyrics that connect London and New York, ‘Transatlantic Kiki’ is a tough, funk-fueled roller true to Hilit Kolet’s signature production style, infused with an unmatchable personality via The Illustrous Blacks’ playful, vogue-like vocals. It’s hypnotic, bold, and irresistible, with the pair supplying a loopy ‘First Class’ mix that introduces vocal elements not featured in the original, amplifying the track’s qualities to hit even harder, and works the dancefloor into a sweat.

Robert and Lyric Hood, known together as Floorplan, remix Hilit Kolet & The Illustrous Blacks’ ‘Transatlantic Kiki’. Equally infectious as the original, they transform its rhythm into a drummy late-night cut. Stabs and vocal chops ride the groove, culminating in a proper lose-yourself-in-the-dance House cut that also comes with an instrumental version.
London’s Hilit Kolet came up through the former Soho Black Market Records shop, and has since become synonymous with the city’s House scene via releases on Defected, Snatch!, Domino, and Rekids, with a #1 debut on Music Week’s Upfront Club Chart and support from BBC Radio 1, Jamie Jones, HAAi, Skream, and more. NYC duo The Illustrious Blacks, comprising Manchildblack and Monstah Black, blend Afro-Electro, Funk, Disco, and House across releases on Soul Clap, Classic Music Company, and Defected, as well as collaborations with artists such as Osunlade, DJ Minx, Seven Davis Jr., and David Morales.

Neo funk rising star Buscrates aims high with Blasting Off, his first full-length album. The Pittsburgh-based keyboard cosmonaut has been grabbing ears since his days hooking up beats with the hip hop crew East Liberty Quarters, but after slinging spicy one-offs to a slew of hot labels like Omega Supreme, Voyage Funktastique and Razor N Tape (as well as contributing production to Wiz Khalifa and Curren$y's 2009 project), the time has come for a full-length featuring his growing modern funk repertoire.

"I'm a '90s hip hop dude, but I grew up on that '80s funk stuff," Buscrates acknowledges. DJ gigs provided a working knowledge of the jams that moved a contemporary crowd, and as his collection of keyboards and drum machines grew he began blending the best of both decades with his personal futuristic edge. "I was nice on the MPC but I wanted to have a little more dynamic range with what I was doing," he notes. The self-described "certified synth geek" was soon branching into sounds that recalled '80s legend Kashif crossed with the hip hop bounce of DJ Spinna, and the modern funk community took notice.

For his first full-length, Buscrates has crewed up with an ace team of collaborators, featuring vocalist Sally Green on the bouncy lead single "Lost And Found" and "Eight Nine." Kate Moe Dee takes over mic duties for the second single, "How Ya Gonna Do It," a slinky groove that slides in place alongside groups like the Sunburst Band and Rene & Angela as an exemplar of sophisticated R&B. Adding to those credentials are the sultry vocals of Anda on "Believe," but of course, it wouldn't be a Buscrates set without some stank, neck-snapping instrumentals. "Five Days" and "Sure Shot," both collabos with the drum technician DJ Epik, will rattle speakers and have already been lighting up message boards on recent Buscrates DJ sets. Round things out with some easy gliding, jazzy funk ("Turn It Out" with Brothermartino on flute and "Evergreen" featuring Tony Ozier) and you've got all the ingredients for a high-flying cosmic ride with Buscrates at the controls.

mimismooth, a one-of-a-kind singer widely recognized for her work with numerous artists such as Sick Team, Senninsho, and Green Butter, as well as for her

collaborative project First Jam Magic released under the name BudaMunk x Takumi Kaneko (cro-magnon) x mimismooth.

1Co.INR, a beatmaker based in Yamaguchi Prefecture on the western tip of Japan’s main island, is known for his releases on Jazzy Sport such as the album
Enough Said and his collaborative work with DJ Mitsu The Beats on BEATS OF THE MONTH SPECIAL. Now, their highly anticipated collaborative project
Kanojo to Umi (""She and the Sea"") is finally being released as a fully limited-edition vinyl pressing!

Influenced by the vibrant Caribbean community and the reggae sounds that permeated his environment, Danny Red was drawn to music at a young age. His journey began in the 1980s, but it was in the early 1990s that Danny Red truly started to make his mark in the reggae scene. Rise to prominence was marked by his unique voice and his commitment to the Rastafari movement, which heavily influenced his music. In the 1990s, as dancehall began to dominate the reggae scene, Danny Red stayed true to his roots reggae origins, focusing on socially conscious themes and spiritual messages.

Known for his powerful vocal delivery and a profound lyrical approach, Danny Red’s music often explores themes of cultural identity, social justice, and spiritual awareness. Here teamed up with south Italian collective Mystical Powa to bring lyrically rich and musically vibrant single. Exploring Rasta believe in holy place called Mount Zion that awaits for each good person. Backed with highly popular anthem horn piece entitled Kunta Kinte played by Eddie T-Bone. Both tunes comes with tuff dub versions ready to mash up all dances worldwide.

Influenced by the likes of Wanexa, Eddy Grant, and YMO, Legowelt teams up with synth-funk artist Shook for a colorful, fun, and melodic new LP on Nightwind Records. A raw mix of saturated Italo disco, city pop, and electro-funk -- drenched in haunting melodies that will linger in your mind for months to come!

White vinyl. The record is housed in a gatefold jacket, designed as your own personal treasure chest. Akupara Games and Black Screen Records are over the moon (and down in the crypt) to announce the soundtrack release of the game hit Cryptmaster on vinyl. For the music, sound expert Surasshu, part of the duo Aivi & Surasshu (i.a. Steven Universe), has teamed up with Stemage and Catton Arthur to virtuously solve the puzzle of a perfectly fitting game score. SAY ANYTHING in this bizarre dungeon adventure where words control everything. Fill in the blanks with text or voice to uncover lost abilities, embark on strange quests, and solve mindbending riddles. Can you conquer the crypt and uncover the mystery at the heart of Cryptmaster? In the ancient past, four brave heroes banded together to destroy a terrible evil, giving their lives to save countless others. But now their eternal rest has been disturbed by the Cryptmaster, a capricious necromancer in whose thrall they must ascend through the buried strata of the city above them - the gloomy Bonehouses, mysterious Sunken Sea and freakish Downwood. With the enigmatic Soulstone in hand, the four adventurers must recover their memories, solve whimsical puzzles and defeat outlandish enemies. From fishing and card games to bardic rap battles, finding the right word is the key to success. Who knows, maybe you'll even remember a little more than you bargained for. Surasshu, veteran of television and game music, brings out the best in the Cryptmaster soundtrack, featuring his peers Catton Arthur on bass and Stemage on guitar. From laid back accordions of the Bonehouses, to the shredding guitar of battles, to the piper's haunting melody, this album features enough musical morsels to keep all kinds of dungeon-crawling deviants tapping their toes.

This years annual Dub-Team-Up 7" from Moss Norway, 10th issue, a decade strong with double A-side. Kambo Super Sound flexing a hard & heavy, ultra steady ghost-town stepper. Don Papa meets DJ Sotofett in the matters of dub & funk with that significant Latino Dub twist, live drums & percussions. A true crossover – true to its roots!

Celestial Echo (miche & Stu Clark) team up with Divine Disco’s Greg Belson to continue their 7-inch series spotlighting Detroit’s powerhouse gospel, soul and R&B label — HOB (House of Beauty).

This second 7-inch gives us two more in-demand killers:

Side A: Messiahs of Glory - “Can’t Find No Other Love"
Lp only before, this track makes its way to a 45 for the first time, super feel good soulful number. Uptempo with a glorious vocal, this one is built for the discerning dancefloor.

Side B: The Royal Travelers - “Jesus Hold My Hand”
raw, soulful and defining of the era. Rarer than rare and never before sold online, it’s a heavy dose of funky gospel oozing with breaky drums and soul.

Fully licensed and remastered, this 7-inch comes housed in a custom Celestial Echo / Divine Disco series sleeve with a faithful reproduction of the HOB label.

Founded in 1956 by Mrs. Carmen Murphy, HOB wasn't just a label — it was a beacon. From the basement of her beauty salon on Detroit’s West Side, she ran one of the most important Black-owned gospel imprints of the 20th century. At a time when both the music industry and the country were stacked against her, Mrs. Murphy built a sanctuary for soul — a Black woman-owned business and creative hub in volatile times.

Pressed and distributed by Prime Direct Distribution.
Don’t miss — buy or cry. Volume 2 continues the journey.

The maiden voyage for ANIMA's forthcoming label - ANIMA Records, debuts with a bang. Assembling a powerful group of artists including Arthur Robert, Glaskin, Red Rooms, and Temudo for its first release, the message is clear. This is not only a musical project, it's turning the page for the next phase of electronic music. The team behind ANIMA is determined to translate the ethos of our events into the project; a quality, diverse, and global-thinking sound.
Team: Enlisting the help of Florian Deckers (who built the BCCO label), Esquive Studio (the brain behind all the anima graphics), and Rene Wise (as a long term mastering partner), we hope to help transform the direction that dance music is evolving. By offering the local and international music scene... something different.

Blaney describes A Room With A Door That Closes as “a love letter to her blue,” an emotional state that she defines as “a kinetic, intense, and dark energy that needs to be expressed as soon as it is felt.” The eleven songs on the album span radioactive kiss offs, sorrowful meditations on yearning, and gossamer reveries about self image.

The music has a fittingly tumultuous, intricate sound: 1960s soul samples melt into warm drum n bass percussion, blips of glitch ping pong against grating synth, and Blaney’s vocals range from searing punk exclamations to gentle, exploratory croons. It’s the sound of a singer peering deeply within herself and presenting the world with everything she finds, unadulterated, in real time. Blaney produced the new project along with a tight team of three producers: Emerson Fossett, Harlan Steed (Show Me The Body), and Alex Farrar (MJ Lenderman, Wednesday, Squirrel Flower, Snail Mail).

Blaney had just started playing guitar and producing around the time she began writing the songs that would become the album. Being new to both producing and guitar playing opened up a sense of exploration and freedom for her. She felt emboldened to employ more adventurous riffs and unconventional song arrangements when she was writing. A Room With A Door That Closes is a collection of songs that rigorously pursue honesty, that present feelings as they arise without rushing to categorise them or explain them away. In the process of understanding her rage or discomfort, Blaney often lands on a sense of pride and assurance, but that’s never the ultimate goal. She eschews the easy comfort of neat resolution for the excitement of ongoing discovery. The album is an exercise in unfiltered self-expression, and a celebration of life at its messiest.

It has been a long time since Creepy Crawl released any music – the return to the fray was not something we had had thought about – times have changed, the world of underground music is almost unrecognizable – however things came back into focus earlier this year when the underground legend that is Mike Vest came calling…. Mike Vest is a one man musical tour de force known for his extensive work with such bands as Bong, Drunk in Hell, 11 Paranoias, Blown Out and Mienakunaru to name a few, releasing records on many underground labels such as Riot Season, Ritual Productions and Cardinal Fuzz etc For Brain Pills Mike has teamed up with Adam Stone from the excellent Poundland on vocals and Nick Raybould from Thought Bubble on drums and art – the result is very impressive indeed – primitive but deadly drums, pulverizingly heavy riffs – lots of fuzz and distortion going on coupled with Adam Stones demented and haunting vocal style all topped off by the excellent and disturbing artwork courtesy of Nick Raybould.

The LP Goatshead is homage to Mike's hometown of Gateshead – Goatshead being the ancient pagan name. The record has been mastered for this vinyl release by crust punk legend Bri Doom, known for his work with Sore Throat, Doom, Lazarus Blackstar and most recently with the excellent Disciple BC - the sound is massive, just what you would expect. Released on clear yellow vinyl with OBI strip and limited to just 300 copies – consume or die!

When you love a record too damn much, you will soon discover whether you "got what it takes” to make it yours. Such is the case with Turbo label head Tiga, who has played 11Schnull & Newinfluenzer’s 2023 underground hit “Ich und meine Ubahn” in each and every one of his DJ sets since its non-Turbo release. But unbridled track-passion is not always enough, and sometimes one must take a step back and recognize that the music business is also a business. So our in-house Corporate Development team, which has of late been entirely focused* on figuring out how best to monetize Tintin entering the public domain, set to work, successfully licensing the original while also creating the fun and potentially life-saving opportunity to visualize just how amicable the licensing process was.

All of which brings us to the remix pack at hand. The essentially perfect electro programming and vocal performance of the 2023 original leaves virtually no angle for improvement, save for the fact that the 4:20 runtime not enough for the median touring DJ to satisfy their chatbot mistress before they must begin the exacting work of selecting and mixing the next track. As such, we enlisted producers who could interpret the song from different planes of existence, namely Chilean-German wizard Matias Aguayo, French hardstyle prodigy Krarmpf, German aesthetes Extrawelt, Hamburg electro master DJ MELL G, and Asturian highbrow god Architectural. For reference, the planes conjured by these remixes are as follows: blacked out on Ivermectin; finally beat a pay-to-win mindfulness game; voted the Greatest Living Teen Artist by the readers of US Weekly; transformed into an expressionless little muscleman as if by magic; going viral; and curing jet lag in our lifetime. It is not for us to say which remix corresponds to which realm of human experience, but we do know that it is limited to those options.

Finally, please do not invite a chatbot lover into your marriage. Your spouse cannot hope to compete. And know that this advice comes from our best understanding of current world affairs, and does not represent what a repressed British man would calling “taking the pee.” At their very best, jokes are funny, and the fate of the human bedroom is no laughing matter at all.

*Like a laser!