Full colour sleeve with rare use of the Italian only movie artwork.
A few years ago I issued the soundtrack to Virgin Witch, the score to an underground 1971
kinky British London / posh stately home horror that seemed more like an excuse to show as
many racy cars and devilish nude scenes as possible. This fleapit film was written by Hazel
Adair - the writer of legendary long-running TV series Crossroads, and her business partner at
the time Ken Walton (yes, the wrestling commentator). Virgin Witch was cheap and successful
enough to allow the whole team another go at the sexploitation game through their newly
formed production company Pyramid Films. Sex Clinic was the quick follow up; I say Sex Clinic,
the initial cinematic title was Clinic Xclusive, which was also called With These Hands, which
was also called La Masseuse Perverse. This film also came out in 1971 and they used the
musical services of Ted Dicks once again. Dicks had originally met Adair in 1960 through a cast
member performing in his first musical, Look Who’s Here.
If you are not aware of the great Ted Dicks, his quick bio reads as follows: born London 1928,
was educated through both grammar and art school and after National Service flirted with both
art and music. He worked with a series of very talented song writers - including Barry Cryer -
finally sparking properly with writer Myles Rudge. Together “Dicks and Rudge” had a hit with
their musical And Another Thing which starred Lionel Blair and Bernard Cribbins. Their talents
were spotted by producer George Martin and they followed this show success up with a series
of truly classic novelty pop chart hits, again with Cribbins - “Hole In The Ground” and “Right Said
Fred”. If you are not aware of the classic A Combination Of Cribbins LP they wrote, go and find
it. It includes “Gossip Calypso”, a triumph of novelty song writing that somehow manages to
squeeze in the lyric “Oxy-aceteline welder”, and is possibly the only song ever to do so. They
wrote further hits (winning an Ivor Novello for “A Windmill In Old Amsterdam”) and were in
constant demand throughout the 1960s and 1970s, working with artists such as Petula Clark,
Matt Munro, Bruce Forsyth, Topol and Kenneth Williams.
By the late 1960s Ted had also penned a handful of instrumental library cues including the
classic “Busy Boy” for the Standard Library company that got picked up as the theme for the
brilliant TV kids fantasy show Catweazle in 1970. It’s a light, kooky, hummable tune that lodged
its way deep in the mind of any child under 12 over the following decade.
When I first got the reels for Sex Clinic I’m not sure what I was sonically expecting - much of
Dicks’ music blends musical hall with jazz and some brilliant novelty - and maybe I was also
imagining a different kind of film to the one that was actually made. Turns out Sex Clinic is more
like a sleazy drama than an erotic adventure - I’ve read reviews that call it “nothing more than a
naked Crossroads”. Even knowing this I had no idea what the music was going to sound like. So
I was thrilled when it was almost the musical opposite of what I imagined. We have here a great,
easy jazz score. Not a proggy, wild or free jazz score, this is lightish, vibes-led, bluesy and really
charming, which gets slightly more lively when the naked pool party sequence kicks off, and
drifts effortlessly into more seductive midnight moods as and when required. And having now
seen the film, musically it’s unusually at odds with the on screen nudity, blackmail and revenge.
But like most of Ted’s work, the music sticks in your mind. Unlike the film. Which I suggest you
try and avoid unless you like watching plump randy middle aged men with terrible hair pursue
women half their age.
TRACKLISTING: There were no notes or titles to any of the cues on the reels. So I have just simply labeled the sides as per the reels that came in:
