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DJ Deeon presents his masterepiece from 1994 "Funk City" originally released on Dance Mania now on CHIWAX CLASSIC EDITION Vol. 32. A must have for all Chicago & Ghetto House - fans!

Rotterdam's Bright Message Records' second release is the highly anticipated 12-inch vinyl "KING INNA THE RING," produced by Imperial Sound Army. The title refers to the powerful vocal version, sung by UK-based King Stanley, which immediately creates the impression of a true anthem and a strong tribute to Jah Rastafari. The vocal version is paired with a dub cut that strongly emphasizes this element of praise. The way this dub connects the A-side and B-side of the record, reveals both Dan-I's years of experience as a soundsystem selector and excellent production skills.

The B-side contains the fantastic melody version "TROMBONE INNA THE RING." With an unexpected intro and upfull vibes, Matic Horns shows he grooves like no one does and keeps the melody tuff till the end. The final track is a dub of Matic's melody version, in which Dan-I explores the full depth of his riddim.

"King Inna The Ring" is a versatile record that captivates from start to finish and was played as dubplate by a handful of well-known soundsystems during the summer of 2025.

Play it loud and let the world know who's the KING INNA THE RING!

Vocals: King Stanley (UK)
Trombone melody: Matic Horns (UK)
Horns vocal riddim: Ital Horns (UK)
Keys: Smiling Roots (IT)
Riddim, mixing and production: Imperial Sound Army (IT)
Mastering: Pressure Mastering (UK)

Punk pioneer/Eater main-man, Andy Blade's 7th solo album and follow up to 2024's critically acclaimed & heavily rotated, Sparks bros endorsed "Being Alive Is Fun". It is imbued with the usual left-of-centre Blade-ism's & themes: star maps, UFO's & a slightly twisted nod to tragic 70's heroine Karen Carpenter. You get what you deserve with Blade, and with Tiny Specks you are rewarded with a rich code to decipher at your leisure. Most of all, however, it is all about the quality of his songwriting. Opening track 'Karen Is The Drummer' (featuring Blade's regular singing collaborator - PseudoPomp's Katerina Sharkova) seems unsettlingly self-explanatory, but all does not seem well in the Carpenter M.O.R world - 'It's just her & her brother & her folks indifference to that girl'. Occasional Dinosaur Jr vocalist Tiffany Anders gives 'I'm Not Myself' a poppy but eerie nuance. PollyPikPocketz's Myura Amara pops up on the short but very sweet 'About That'. Matilda Scotland, Quick Romance's uber-cool punky-chanteuse - adds her Gen Z aura to the summery 'I Like It When You're Happy'. Former Generation X guitarist Bob 'Derwood' Andrews, with whom Blade has worked with consistently of late, once again features heavily on 'Tiny Specks'_ Like with Katerina Sharkova's voice, Derwood guitar lines interweave with Blade's honeyed vocal as though they made for each other. 'This Place' is another key track, capturing the claustrophobic-genocidal mood of what has been taking place in Gaza/Palestine for over two years now, and counting. 'This is not so much a protest song as it is the noise in my head'. If John Lydon is the Widow Twanky of Punk, and Billy Idol, its Elvis, then Andy Blade must surely be the Sinatra of Punk.

Furthering the passionate exploration of cinema that has guided her two previous LPs - 2017’s ‘Fassbinder Wunderkammer’ and 2020’s ‘I Should Have Been a Gardener’ - the Milanese guitarist/composer, Alessandra Novaga, returns to Die Schachtel with ‘The Artistic Image Is Always a Miracle’, two sides off shimmering, tense compositions – culminating as one of her most creatively ambitious and conceptually rich outings to date – freely inspired by the life and work of the Russian director Andrej Tarkovsky and the music of Johann Sebastian Bach.

Classically trained at the Musik Akademie in Basel, Switzerland, over the last decade Alessandra Novaga has emerged as one of the leading figures within northern Italy’s thriving new, experimental, and improvised music scene, rendering striking solo efforts, in addition to collaborations with Loren Connors, Stefano Pilia, Elliott Sharp, Nicola Ratti, Paula Matthusen, Sandro Mussida, Kid Millions, Travis Just, Francesco Gagliardi, and others. Remarkably ambitious and forward thinking, her approach to the guitar embarks upon a relentless deconstruction and rethinking of her instrument’s unique properties through distinct applications of structure, resonance, space, and tone, creating in a deeply personal and emotive music, seeking narrative and meaning within the abstractions of sound.

In 2017, with the LP, ‘Fassbinder Wunderkammer’, issued by Setola Di Maiale, Novaga embarked upon the exploration of her love of film. Having begun with Rainer Werner Fassbinder, this was followed in 2020 by Die Schachtel’s release of ‘I Should Have Been a Gardener’, a deeply intimate mediation on the life and work of Derek Jarman. Rather than focusing on a fixed point of inspiration or a single film to work from, these pieces achieve a form of abstract portraiture, distilling elements drawn from these filmmaker’s life and work into ambient networks of texture and tonality. ‘The Artistic Image Is Always a Miracle”’ freely inspired by the Russian director Andrej Tarkovsky and the music of Johann Sebastian Bach, finds Novaga radically expanding her sonic palette within this approach.

The seeds of ‘The Artistic Image Is Always a Miracle’ can be traced to a conversation that Novaga had with Alan Licht (contained in the highly regarded Common Tones: Selected interviews with artists and musicians 1995–2020, Blank Forms, 2021), relating to the connections between music and cinema, which led her to consider Andrej Tarkovsky’s use of Bach's music within a symbiotic framework: how the music illuminates the imagism of the films, and the film illuminates new dimensions of the music. Slowly developing over the subsequent years, the resulting album comprises six individual works, some of which draw directly upon pieces of Bach’s music that Tarkovsky used in his films – specifically 'Erbarme dich, Mein Gott', 'Das alte Jahr vergangen ist', and 'Ich ruf zu dir, Herr Jesu Christ' - while others draw upon the sensibilities and moods evoked in the imagination by the director’s films.

As a point of departure and illumination into the process and spirit that underscored the creation of the album, Novaga points toward a passage in Tarkovsky’s "Sculpting in Time”:

“Art is born and takes hold wherever there is a timeless and insatiable longing for the spiritual, for the ideal: that longing which draws people to art. Modern art has taken a wrong turn in abandoning the search for the meaning of existence in order to affirm the value of the individual for its own sake. What purports to be art begins to look like an eccentric occupation for suspect characters who maintain that any personalized action is of intrinsic value simply as a display of self-will. But in artistic creation the personality does not assert itself, it serves another, higher and communal idea.”

‘The Artistic Image Is Always a Miracle’ can be understood as a realisation of the collectivism of which Tarkovsky speaks, in the service of something far beyond the expression of self. Encountering Novaga moving into fairly uncharted waters, three of the album’s pieces incorporate the human voice we encounter the voices of others: that of the poet Arsenij Tarkovsky, the director’s father; a singer from Bach’s ‘Erbarme dich, Mein Gott’, capturing a broadcast in an underground parking lot, and Novaga’s own, rendering the melody from Bach’s “Ich ruf zu dir, Herr Jesu Christ”. Roughly alternating between solo excursions on guitar and bristling electroacoustic pieces, over the course of the album’s two sides Novaga weaves one of her most abstract and ambitious bodies of recordings to date, shifting between the complex tonal mediations generated by the six strings of her instrument, and phycological densities activated by the expanded pallet of sonority made possible by the tactics and approaches of musique concrète.

An immersive, deeply engaging meeting of beauty and melancholy within a labyrinth of voices and ideas, ‘The Artistic Image Is Always a Miracle’ transfigures the life and work of Andrej Tarkovski – one of the greatest auteurs in the history of cinema – into a singular, experimental statement of collective truth. Belonging to recent, ambitious stream of contemporary new music releases on Die Schachtel that’s already included Novaga’s ‘I Should Have Been a Gardener’, Stefano Pilia’s ‘Spiralis Aurea’, Jim O'Rourke & Giovanni Di Domenico’ ‘Immanent In Nervous Activity’, Claudio Rocchetti’s ‘Labirinto Verticale’, and Damāvand’s ‘As Long As You Come To My Garden’, among others, ‘The Artistic Image Is Always a Miracle’ is available on as a limited edition of 300 dark turquoise vinyl LPs released on June 21, 2024. The LP, designed by Bruno Stucchi / dinamomilano, comes with an 8-pages insert illuminated by Alessandra’s text as well as the lovely and intense photographs of Matilde Piazzi.

A critique and embrace of self-destruction, esoteric vanity and inevitable ruin. The molten-red LP on Riot Season Records plunges deep into an abuse of distortion, existential doom and primal Stooges-like chaos. LA’s Acid Punk Power Trio returns to its mark 1 line up, now wielding a second addition in twin-drum assault
OVER-GAIN OPTIMAL DEATH are :Jasso : Guitar/ Vocals, Luna : Bass, Backhaus + TJ : Twin Drums
Jasso (guitar/vocals) is seemingly out for blood on this 4 track studio album, leading a violent dive into the abyss, Japanese Underground fury meets Hendrix’s wreckage, fuzz-drenched wah freak-outs compete against raw punk vocals caught in an endless slap back delay…
OVER-GAIN OPTIMAL DEATH are an Acid Punk power trio formed in 2008 hailing from Los Angeles, and now currently hiding out somewhere in the South of France.
Fronted by guitarist/ vocalist Jasso (Psychedelic Speed Freaks, Antarcticans), they push a special niche product of blown-out extreme psychedelic noise rock. Their sound is enveloped in a total nihilist
"No Hope" atmosphere of heavy lyrics and distortion, mating intoxicating pulsing repetition, hyperactive improvisations and out of body guitar solos.
Resurrecting US 60s punk and acid-riffage from the likes of Blue Cheer, the Stooges, MC5 and live Hendrix Experience, OVER-GAIN OPTIMAL DEATH also draws greatly on the in-the-red sound aesthetic and high energy of the Speed Freak Underground and Hardcore scene of 80s/90s Japan.

Double LP pressed on transparent neon pink and opaque neon green vinyl Including exclusive unreleased tracks Holographic gatefold sleeve Reversible artwork concept After months of overwhelmingly positive reviews on the game and half a million streams on the digital album, it is finally time to announce the physical release of the original soundtrack for Sorry We're Closed. Akupara Games, à la mode games and Black Screen Records put every effort into the vinyl that lives up to the one-of-a-kind nostalgic, survival horror game with rich lore, deep characters and multiple endings. While players explore unsettling locations in Sorry We're Closed, they're being haunted by the chilling tracks, created by C.Bedford, Okumura, Devix and Catton Arthur. The soundtrack is as diverse as its artists: From the atmospheric and minimalistic electronic pieces by C.Bedford, who involved in the development of the game, to the full-on hip hop tracks by Okumura, Devix is adding a sensible folk track, while Catton Arthur is finally throwing in some heavy guitars to complete this excentric and highly enjoyable mix. For the vinyl release of the Sorry We're Closed soundtrack, the teams of à la mode, Akupara and Black Screen created a package that has its twists and turns. It comes with colourful neon LPs, transparent pink and opaque green, that are housed in a shiny holographic gatefold sleeve that you can turn around to see a second, alternative artwork.

A truly unique voice, Giggs’ combination of slow flow, dark lyrics, a well-documented past and explosive street sales saw him hailed as one of the most exciting voices in British rap. He first burst onto the scene in 2008 with his debut ‘Talkin The Hardest’ a freestyle which has become one of British rap’s biggest anthems (over 12M views at YouTube). Giggs’ sold tens of thousands of copies of his mixtapes on his own SN1 (Spare No 1) label and won 2008’s BET Award for Best British Hip Hop Act before signing to XL Recordings for his iconic debut proper, ‘Let Em Ave It’ in 2010. 15 years on the album gets its first ever release on vinyl, featuring bonus tracks from the era that originally appeared as singles, including ‘Talking The Hardest’ and ‘Slow Songs’ featuring The Streets’ Mike Skinner.





















[s] D1: Don’t Go There (feat. B.O.B) [Bonus]
[t] D2: Talking The Hardest [Bonus]
[u] D3: Blow Em Away (feat. Shola Ama) [Bonus]
[v] D4: Slow Songs (feat. Mike Skinner) [Bonus]

Giggs und XL Recordings kündigen zum 15-jährigen Jubiläum eine Neuauflage seines einflussreichen zweiten Albums Let Em Ave It an - erstmals auf Vinyl erhältlich. Das ursprünglich am 21. Juni 2010 veröffentlichte Album markierte Giggs" großen Durchbruch und gilt als wegweisend für die britische Rap-Szene. Mit seinem tiefen Flow, roher Ehrlichkeit und Tracks wie "Look What the Cat Dragged In", "Hustle On" und ""Matic" setzte Giggs neue Maßstäbe für UK-Rap. Kritiker lobten das Werk als realitätsnah und stilprägend. Seitdem entwickelte sich Giggs zu einer Schlüsselfigur der britischen Musik mit erfolgreichen Folgealben wie Landlord, Wamp 2 Dem und Zero Tolerance, sowie Kollaborationen mit Stars wie Drake, Stormzy und Ed Sheeran. Die Jubiläumsausgabe von Let Em Ave It erscheint als Deluxe-Doppelvinyl mit dem originalen Coverdesign, wahlweise auf gelbem oder schwarzem Vinyl. Zusätzlich enthält sie eine Bonusplatte mit Klassikern der Ära, darunter "Don"t Go There" (mit B.o.B), "Slow Songs" (mit Mike Skinner), "Blow Em Away" (mit Shola Ama) und der Kulttrack "Talkin The Hardest". Vorbestellungen sind ab sofort möglich.

Will Johnson und die verbleibenden Mitglieder der beliebten Band Magnolia Electric Co. haben sich für neue Aufnahmen als Magnolia & Johnson Electric Co. zusammengetan. Im September werden Magnolia & Johnson Electric Co. ihrem verstorbenen Kollegen Jason Molina Tribut zollen und vom 18. bis 21. September 2025 vier Konzerte in Texas geben. Will Johnson ist der texanische Songwriter von Centro-matic, South San Gabriel und derzeitiges Mitglied der 400 Unit mit Jason Isbell. Johnson veröffentlichte im April 2025 sein zehntes Soloalbum "Diamond City" und war Teil des 2009 erschienenen Gemeinschaftsalbums "Molina and Johnson", für das eine Tournee aufgrund von Molinas Alkoholproblemen abgesagt werden musste. Die vier Konzerte folgen den ausgetretenen Pfaden von Molina und Magnolia während ihrer sieben Jahre als Magnolia Electric Co. und markieren den 20. Jahrestag einer Texas-Tournee, die 2005 zur Unterstützung der Alben "What Comes After the Blues" und "Trials and Errors" stattfand. Magnolia & Johnson Electric Co. (mit Will Johnson und Mike Brenner, Jason Evans Groth, Michael Kapinus, Mark Rice und Pete Schreiner) trafen sich Anfang des Jahres in Texas, um neue Studioversionen der Songs von Molina und Johnson aufzunehmen, angelehnt an die 2018er Zusammenarbeit "Goshen Electric Company" von Magnolia und Oaks erinnern. Die Sessions wurden von Johnsons langjährigem Kollegen Britton Beisenherz aufgenommen und gemischt und von Magnolia-Mastering-Ingenieur Matthew Barnhart gemastert. Das Cover ziert ein ikonisches Artwork von Will Schaff, dessen Kunstwerke mittlerweile untrennbar mit Jason Molinas Songwriting verbunden sind.

Für sein treffend betiteltes Solo-Debütalbum "Introducing..." hat Aaron Frazer mit Dan Auerbach von The Black Keys zusammengearbeitet. Soft spoken und mit dem Aussehen eines leicht unzufriedenen Matinee-Idols aus den 1950er Jahren gesegnet, besitzt Frazer eine einzigartige Stimme, die sowohl zeitgemäß als auch zeitlos klingt. Der in Baltimore aufgewachsene, zurzeit in Brooklyn lebende Songwriter wurde als Schlagzeuger und Co-Vokalist von Durand Jones & The Indications bekannt. Jetzt tritt er mit "Introducing..." als Solist hinter dem Drumkit hervor und demonstriert nicht nur seine beeindruckenden stimmlichen Qualitäten, sondern auch sein Können als hochklassiger Songschreiber. Schon die erste Single "Bad News" sorgte für Aufsehen ("a gorgeous piece of vintage R&B" - CLASH), die sich anschließende Lead-Single "Over You" ist inspiriert von elektrisierenden Northern Soul 45s der 60er Jahre. Nur zwei Belege der erfolgreichen Zusammenarbeit zwischen Frazer und Auerbach. Die zwölf Songs auf "Introducing..." verbinden gekonnt den Soul der 70er Jahre mit Dan Auerbachs besonderer Sensibilität für Vintage-Sounds im neuen Gewand. "Introducing..." enthält klassische Message-Songs im Stil von Künstlern wie Gil Scott-Heron sowie motivierende Liebeslieder, die von Disco-, Gospel- und Doo-Wop-Einflüssen durchzogen sind. Das gesamte Album wurde innerhalb nur einer Woche in Auerbachs berühmten Nashville-Studio nach einer schnellen und produktiven Songwriting-Session aufgenommen. Auerbach holte auch den legendären Songwriter und Falsettspezialisten L. Russell Brown (schrieb früher Hits für Frankie Valli von The Four Seasons) an Bord, der den wunderschönen Opener "You Don't Wanna Be My Baby" auf dem Album mitkopmponierte. Für "Introducing..." rekrutierte Frazer eine beeindruckende Schar alteingesessener Session-Musiker aus Nashville. Darunter Mitglieder der legendären Memphis Boys (die in Dusty Springfields "Son of A Preacher Man" und Aretha Franklins "You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Woman" mitspielten), den Perkussionisten Sam Bacco sowie diverse Musiker aus dem Daptone/Big Crown Records-Umfeld.

Released by Hegoa Records and Night School Records.
Greatest Heads is the fourth album by the radical Basque- Berlinesque group Al Karpenter. A deconstruction of structured “rock” music, here Al Karpenter re-imagine “the band” to explore the intersection between Free music, afro-beat, the avant garde and gonzo rock.
If Theodore Adorno wrote “To Write Poetry after Auschwitz is Barbaric” in 1949, Al Karpenter attempts to answer the difficult question today; what kind of music can be done in the face of a genocide? Álvaro Matilla, Marta Sainz, Enrique Zaccagnini & Mattin’s response to the planet’s slipping into a vortex of hate is to create a music ecstatic, a music of protest bursting with multiple musical languages and glossaries, full of overlapping histories and thrilling tensions.
Greatest Heads posits a plurality of musics both in opposition and intertwined: Al Karpenter play rock instruments pulled apart in the studio in post-production. Distorted rhythm chunks bit-crushed and dissipated, segments of freedom oppressed by waves of sound invading from every direction. The interplay between the chief instrumentalists and renowned, storied sound artist Mattin creates something akin to ESP freedom-seekers Cro Magnon playing in Miles Davis’ early 70s groups, The Los Angeles Free Music Society tightening up into a clenched fist of plunderphonics and runaway percussion.
We Are All Karpenters opens Greatest Heads with the most straight-forward song refrain of the record accompanied by a band that soon crash into eruption, imagining Sun City Girls in full free rock mode.
The modulating synth sound soon sucks the band into its wake to create a spine-chilling climax of distorted sound, made fully orgasmic with mastering engineer Rashad Becker’s attention to detail. On Izugarrizko Buruak (Greatest Heads), Matilla intones in Basque over a mangled distorto-beat. A Brand New Astraphobia creates a black space for a heavily processed guitar to blow up before falling to earth at night, a gentle figure serenading the coming end.
On Side B, the band begins by being masticated by a brutal phaser, squelching and stretching the music into new territories. The overt message of Stop The Genocide! is besieged by violence before Worm City aggressively samples the ghosts of soul music, mixing in noise bursts, prepared piano and swiping, abstracted sound. Epic closer Perfect Love feels like a beat poetry performance on a burnt world, still grasping for community, for home, for some sort of human love. A Mad love, then; an angry love fuelled by solidarity and collaboration.
The band’s cascading layers of references and polyglottal musics attempt to create the perfect lover, alive with rage and disorientating ecstasy: Al Karpenter.

"Songs For Other People's Weddings" ist ein Begleitalbum zum gleichnamigen Buch von Jens Lekman und dem preisgekrönten Bestsellerautor David Levithan, das am 5. August 2025 über ABRAMS erscheint. Das Projekt wurde von der überraschenden Nebenkarriere des beliebten schwedischen Künstlers als Hochzeitssänger inspiriert, die zufällig zustande kam, nachdem Fans seinen Song "If You Ever Need A Stranger (To Sing At Your Wedding)" aus dem Jahr 2004 wörtlich nahmen und ihn einluden, auf ihren Hochzeiten aufzutreten. "Songs For Other People's Weddings" ist ein fiktives Werk über J, einen unglücklich verliebten Musiker, der nebenbei als Hochzeitssänger arbeitet. J trifft sich mit Paaren vor ihrem großen Tag, um mehr über die intimen, seltsamen Dinge zu erfahren, die sie zusammengebracht haben, um einen originellen Song zu schreiben, den er ihnen auf ihrer Hochzeit vorträgt. Aber trotz Js Vorliebe, die perfekten Worte für andere zu finden, scheint er nicht in der Lage zu sein, dasselbe für seine eigene Liebe zu seiner Freundin V. zu tun. Lekman bemerkt: "Die Idee, ein erzählerisches Konzeptalbum (eine Rockoper?) zu machen, fühlte sich verboten an. Was für mich normalerweise ein Zeichen dafür ist, dass ich auf dem richtigen Weg bin. Als ich mich mit dem Genre der narrativen Konzeptalben beschäftigte, wurde mir klar, dass eines meiner Lieblingsalben, Frank Sinatras "Watertown", genau das war - eine Platte, die eine chronologische Geschichte über die Länge einer LP erzählte. Da ich nie ein Fan von Musicals oder Rockopern war, diente mir dieses Album als Inspiration. Ich schrieb das Album, während das Buch noch in Arbeit war, und an einigen Stellen begann ich mir vorzustellen, was zwischen den Kapiteln des Buches geschah. Das Buch und das Album waren schließlich miteinander verflochten, gingen aber auch ihre eigenen Wege. Das Buch gab die Struktur der Geschichte vor, aber das Album schlich sich manchmal hinter die Kulissen. Geschichten aus den Liedern fanden ihren Weg in das Buch und umgekehrt." "Songs For Other People's Weddings" folgt der Beziehung von J und V und verändert sich musikalisch, während das Paar durch die Höhen und Tiefen der Liebe navigiert - wobei jede neue Hochzeit ihren eigenen klanglichen Hintergrund bietet. Das Album ist eine orchestrale, romantische Sammlung, die sich zwischen pastoralen Streichern, verträumtem Pop, sanftem Jazz-Saxophon und traurigen House-Beats bewegt. "Die Figur des J kann seine eigenen Emotionen nicht aus seinen Liedern heraushalten, und Jens unterstreicht dies auf eine Weise, die den Hörer immer wieder überrascht", sagt Levithan. "Oft wird er von Matilda Sargren begleitet, die Vs Gefühlen und Gedanken eine Stimme gibt. Ursprünglich sollte sie nur auf den Demos singen, aber als sie anfing, V zu singen, war es keine Frage, dass sie auf dem endgültigen Album zu hören sein würde. Wenn Jens und ich unsere Arbeit getan haben, erzählen der Roman und das Album beide Seiten von Js und Vs Geschichte - und die Spannung entsteht dadurch, wie diese Seiten zusammenpassen." Lekman fügt hinzu: "Auch wenn es in dieser Geschichte um eine Beziehung geht und darum, wie sie sich in den Beziehungen und Hochzeiten anderer widerspiegelt, denke ich, dass es vor allem eine Liebesgeschichte über Musik und ihren Wert in einer Zeit ist, in der sie von Tech-Unternehmen abgewertet und in Inhalte verwandelt wird. Ihre Fähigkeit, zu beruhigen und zu verbinden und ihre Rolle in den Übergangsmomenten unseres Lebens, wie zum Beispiel bei Hochzeiten. Es ist ein Liebeslied an Liebeslieder."

Japan’s electronic music scene has always stood out as uniquely distinctive. In the late 1970s and early 1980s, a wave of underground projects, bands, and independent labels—primarily based in Tokyo and Osaka—began crafting their own sound. Inspired by the post-punk, new wave, and experimental movements emerging from Europe and North America, these artists embraced a DIY ethic, using whatever technology they had access to in order to forge something entirely their own.

This movement, often referred to as the "Nippon-wave" scene, remained largely hidden from the outside world. Many of its releases—on cassette tapes, flexi-discs, and privately pressed vinyl—were never distributed beyond Japan’s borders, making them rare treasures for the few who managed to discover them. “Nihon No Wave” presents a selection of these long-overlooked recordings, making them accessible to listeners beyond Japan for the first time.

When you love a record too damn much, you will soon discover whether you "got what it takes” to make it yours. Such is the case with Turbo label head Tiga, who has played 11Schnull & Newinfluenzer’s 2023 underground hit “Ich und meine Ubahn” in each and every one of his DJ sets since its non-Turbo release. But unbridled track-passion is not always enough, and sometimes one must take a step back and recognize that the music business is also a business. So our in-house Corporate Development team, which has of late been entirely focused* on figuring out how best to monetize Tintin entering the public domain, set to work, successfully licensing the original while also creating the fun and potentially life-saving opportunity to visualize just how amicable the licensing process was.

All of which brings us to the remix pack at hand. The essentially perfect electro programming and vocal performance of the 2023 original leaves virtually no angle for improvement, save for the fact that the 4:20 runtime not enough for the median touring DJ to satisfy their chatbot mistress before they must begin the exacting work of selecting and mixing the next track. As such, we enlisted producers who could interpret the song from different planes of existence, namely Chilean-German wizard Matias Aguayo, French hardstyle prodigy Krarmpf, German aesthetes Extrawelt, Hamburg electro master DJ MELL G, and Asturian highbrow god Architectural. For reference, the planes conjured by these remixes are as follows: blacked out on Ivermectin; finally beat a pay-to-win mindfulness game; voted the Greatest Living Teen Artist by the readers of US Weekly; transformed into an expressionless little muscleman as if by magic; going viral; and curing jet lag in our lifetime. It is not for us to say which remix corresponds to which realm of human experience, but we do know that it is limited to those options.

Finally, please do not invite a chatbot lover into your marriage. Your spouse cannot hope to compete. And know that this advice comes from our best understanding of current world affairs, and does not represent what a repressed British man would calling “taking the pee.” At their very best, jokes are funny, and the fate of the human bedroom is no laughing matter at all.

*Like a laser!